Daniel Duță, Ps, University Lector, Dr in Psychology
When you’re a small baby, you dream to walk. When you start walking, you dream to drive a car. When you are schoolboy, you dream to be a teacher. When you stay with your parents, you dream of being independent and having your own family.
But for this – you have to get married. Oh, marriage! But… do you have your own house, car, job? Are you ready to grow children? Marriage seems to be a risk today. Pure madness!
In the last 10 years, Romanians have become less interested in the idea of forming a family. National Institute of Statistics showed a 18% decrease of marriages in 2014! In June 2016, E.U.R.O.S.T.A.T. – an institution that provides statistical information at the level of European Union – clearly pointed out a dissolution of the idea of marriage: since 1965, the marriage rate on our old continent has fallen by almost 50%!
If we turn back to the beginning of the history, we see that walking has started in… couple! Close your eyes, as did the first man on earth. The mathematics of risk has its shades.
You get on the sledge onto the top of the mountain. You’re going fast! Obviously, there may be dangers to appear. You brake, but you don’t like that now you have a slow speed. Monotony, boredom, communication becomes strangled, nothing attracts you anymore. You – displeased, absent. She – bad outfitted, glacial.
So you want to get out of the sledge and get on another sledge, just to get… what? To fail again, as your first marriage did?
And, if you dare to climb the sledge again, to take another stage – another risk: you may wake up, over a decade/two/three, that you get up from bed with difficulty, and from different rooms, and “home” became a banal word synonymous with… “toxic”, and where the roof is the only thing that keeps you together!…
Honestly talking, you may be shocked: at first marriage, 55% of the marriages fail; at the second, 65%; at the third, 75%!
Is there any advantage by getting married?! It looks like there’s no life after … marriage!
Let me tell you four reasons why it’s worth to marry:
1. That people who love and are loved become stronger. In two, no inclination is too steep. You can not lift heavy loads by yourself. In two, the weights become lighter. Four eyes see better than only two. The consistency of opinion of two people creates horizons that nobody could determine alone. What could be more enjoyable than someone adding energy to your passion and pursuits?
2. For … fellowship! Adam’s first feeling after seeing Eve was not a romantic one, but one of releasing! He had just received a friend! In marriage, you can also have the joy of having a friend who, in spite of seeing what disaster you may be sometimes, and knowing such mood swings you may have, still wants you to stay in his life!
3. For training. Monastics can’t share all the great lessons of life. Because success comes only when the two partners become available each other. Isn’t it the love we give the only one we keep for ourselves? The wonder of chemistry to this reaction is non-mathematical: love, when divided, does not halve; it doubles itself!
4. For love. Human beings live to love and are not complete if they do not do. Love even to the bears spins the heads! The fragrance of love also means fulfilling the sexual needs, as God planned.
Did I say “God”? The best marriages are actually those between a man, a woman and … God!
Do you know something?
Today, there are also happy marriages.
I believe in marriage. And you also think!
Life deserves to be lived… to the square!
This is my opinion, Daniel Duță, for OPINIA PRODUCTION.